Mothering the Unborn Child

Dr. Wirth offers a very sweet method for maternal/fetal communication (bonding). I am happy to present it… but I wouldn’t want anyone to feel guilty about the normal stress hormones that they may experience at other times in their day or life.


The problem is that after reading material such as this, I have heard women express deep concern about how their life (less than perfect) and their pain (emotional) may be hurting their baby.


Mothers are in constant communication with their unborn. Whether through sound, taste, light, thoughts or hormones- the baby within, on some level, experience everything that the mother experiences. It is not something that requires thought or action. Mothers do it naturally. 


In fact, maternal (soon-to-become) fetal communication begins even before the embryo is made!

Recent information indicates that three months prior to fertilization a woman’s body gathers information about her health, lifestyle and environment. Through hormonal signals it then sends the compiled information to the developing egg. The egg is then imprinted with information about it’s future habitat.


For fear that early-imprinting from a mother with less than a perfect peace-love-and-good-vibes life will lead to imperfect and traumatized adults, some have taken information about early imprinting  to suppose that mothers should do everything they can to create a stress-free and idyllic prenatal life and that mothers who do not may somehow be harming their child or worse yet- harming society.

"Mothers may not realize it but even their thoughts can create abhorrent human behavior!

If mothers experience pain in labor or have a traumatic birth their baby will have a reduced capacity to love!

Babies born by c-section cannot bond with their mother!

Stressed out mothers are abusing their children! We have got to find a way to make mothers aware that their negative emotions and life experiences are causing the breakdown of civilization as we know it".

I have read this, heard this at conferences and have seen this in video presentations and on blogs! (Alright, so I exaggerated a little bit, but just a little bit.)

If mothers only tried hard enough and were perfect enough, they could create perfectly perfect children!

While achieving a state of total bliss and wellbeing is certainly an admirable goal, (meanwhile, back in reality) we have got to take care that we do not further contribute to the age-old mindset of “guilty mothers” (mother blame).

Come on now! Having a fight with a mate or having a less than perfect birth is not going to diminish a baby’s capacity to love. Give me a break!  If it were that simple surely all of the bad seeds would have been bred out of us prior to the fairly recent (80 years) advent of the medicalization of birth. Sweet mothers would have sweet children and evil mothers would be punished by having evil children.

Mothers are to blame for our societal state!

Don’t go crazy on me! I am not saying that mothers shouldn’t properly care for their children, try to give their children a good experience of gestation and life or that they are not responsible for teaching their children good manners.

I just have a slightly different take on the very exciting subject of early- imprinting.

I take it to mean that we can…. RELAX. I think it demonstrates that a mother’s body-consciousness, in its INFINITE wisdom, provides her baby with the EXACT imprinting that her baby needs.

Early imprinting prepares a baby for a life with its mother. To me it means that mothers create babies that can thrive within their mothers lifestyle and environment. This is ‘natures’ way of assuring that babies from drastically different environments, cultures and mothers will be given exactly what they need to  be able to adjust to the life circumstance that they will be born into.

It means that EVERYONE 
(not just those born to perfect [?] mothers) 
has the opportunity to uniquely and brilliantly shine.

It means that mothers make babies that are able to put up with them and their less than perfect selves. Mothers need not feel guilty for the less than perfect aspects of their life.

And YES, it also means that they can intentionally create a loving experience for the baby growing within.

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Take A Fetal Love Break

Frederick Wirth, M.D

Have you seen babies melt into angelic smiles while giving rapt attention to their parents, who in turn are captured by this simple eye contact with their newly born infant? What you are seeing is a child receiving this wonderful message of love from his parents and sharing feelings of secure contentment. This is what I call a love message. Children thrive on them. Love is so important that babies can die without it.

You are all-important to your developing unborn child. You are your infant’s universe- the ultimate provider. What an awesome responsibility! Most women know this intuitively, and medical science is building clinical evidence that confirms how important you are. Now, you send your love to your unborn child. I call these fetal love messages, and you send them to your unborn child during fetal love breaks.

Use your brain chemistry to send love messages to your unborn baby

Have you ever wondered how our emotions and feelings occur? Medical science tells us that emotions are sensations we perceive from our body’s reactions to molecules secreted from the primitive parts of our brains. Our thoughts determine which compounds our brains secrete into our bodies. When we feel peace and joy, one set of neurotransmitters is in our blood. When we feel angry or anxious, another different set is present.

These compounds cross the placenta to the unborn child who shares the same feelings the mother is having. In this way mothers communicate to babies in the most intimate way- with their molecules of emotion- scientists call these neurotransmitters. I like to call them “messenger molecules.” Among the 120 neurotransmitters scientist know about, there are basically two types you should consider when sending fetal love messages. One set, called negative messenger molecules, is secreted into our blood stream and brain when we are angry, frightened, or anxious. Positive messenger molecules are secreted when we feel loved, secure and/or peaceful.

Learn to send your baby fetal love messages

You can send fetal love messages to your unborn child via these messenger molecules. The best way to send the message is by taking several fetal love breaks a day. First, find some music that you enjoy and that makes you feel good. Listen to music that gives you the euphoric feeling of peace, joy and love. This may be religious, instrumental or a particular popular song that brings back happy memories. Play this music so your unborn baby can hear it (don’t use earphones) and relax by taking several deep breaths while sitting or lying in a restful position. Fill your senses with a peaceful scene like a mountain lake or beach. Be sure to use all of your senses. See the ocean, hear the waves, feel the sand and sun, and smell the salt air. Be sure to use your sense of smell because it increases the number of messenger molecules flowing to the brain.

This may take some practice, but after several attempts you will start feeling your own body’s response to the mental picture. That’s when you know you are sending a fetal love message. I suggest you take a fetal love break for twenty minutes three or four times a day. This practice has many benefits to you and to your unborn child. It will program your child’s emotional temperament and give him/her the expectation of peace and love in his or her universe after birth.

~
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can enhance the experience by sucking on your favorite hard candy, using your favorite aromatherapy or snuggling with your favorite blanket.

Really allow yourself to enjoy the moment; savor the tastes, sounds, textures, smells and first moments of motherhood– your baby will thrive on it and feel the love that exists within normal life.

Bonding is not about being 'perfect', it is simply about mom and babe taking the time to enjoy one another and giving the body-mind the opportunity to do its job of strengthening the instincts.

Maybe we are not supposed to spend every waking moment in meditative bliss, but a few moments every now-and-then would sure be nice!

In closing, I would like to ask; how does the developing baby communicate with the mother and how does the mother receive the communication?

Perhaps a topic for another day!
Warmly,
Shell

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Mother-Blame
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201111/mother-blaming-has-stop
http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/berkeley/papers/4.pdf
http://abatteredmother.wordpress.com/2011/04/14/mother-blaming/
http://iblamethemother.wordpress.com/
http://www.mnadopt.org/Factsheets/Deflecting%20Blame%20When%20Mom%20is%20Target.pdf
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2005/is_2_33/ai_58675473/
http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Myth-Idealization-Motherhood-Undermined/dp/0743259998
http://www.bipolarworld.net/Bipolar%20Disorder/Bipolar_Children/motherblame.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refrigerator_mother_theory
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-413688/Why-mothers-blame.html

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Technorati Tags: Mother Blame,Mother Guilt,Pregnancy Meditation,Perinatal Psychology,Phoenix Midwife

Myths and Mix-ups

Occam's razor

Red-Raspberry Tea- Red Raspberry leaf tea is a wonderful tonic for the uterus and is rich in nutrients.  The leafs are gathered from the raspberry plant. It is NOT the fruity tea flavored with raspberry juice. Sorry about that.

Honey. Honey is made from bees. Local honey is optimum. Be aware of honey flavored High-fructose-Corn-Syrup sweeteners that are sometimes even packaged in a bear shaped bottle.

Glucose Testing Cheats. The glucose test is done assess how the body tolerates and manages glucose. The body does not metabolize fructose the same way that it does glucose. Fructose also has a lower glycemic index then does glucose. Glucose test cheats that use candy or drinks that are sweetened with fructose or high fructose corn syrup may not provide valid results. If you are bothering to do the test at all, I imagine that you would want the most accurate results possible.

Sleeping on your back is unsafe during pregnancy.  “When you lie on your back, your uterus presses on the vein that returns blood from your lower body to your heart. Lying on your back for an extended period of time could interfere with the flow of blood and nutrients to the placenta and your developing baby.

Unless you have a very high BMI, or can somehow manage to spend more than 4 straight hours flat on your back, sleeping on your back is not something that you need to be overly concerned about.

Drinking tons of water for hydration.  Water maintains hydration but it does not fully hydrate the cells. The most common form of dehydration is a combination of low electrolytes and low water. Increasing water alone will only further dilute the bloodstream. Drinking 1/2 of your body weight in ounces of water plus eating fresh fruits and vegetables every day is sufficient.  (while we are on the subject- never give water to a newborn. Seizures from giving water to children 3 and under is the number one cause of trips to the E.R for seizures in that age group. It strips the sodium from their system and causes water intoxication.)

Limit salt intake to prevent edema/swelling. Your body needs salt. If you are eating lot of fresh greens, fruits and vegetables you are probably getting enough salt. If you need to salt your food use a good sea salt. I like the Celtic Sea Salt brand.

Herbal tea is dangerous in pregnancy. According to the labels everything is dangerous in pregnancy. The truth is that manufacturers are afraid of pregnancy. Teas sold for general consumption (not medicinal) and those that have a pleasant taste are fine during pregnancy.

Coffee is bad during pregnancy. Drinking a pot of cheap coffee that sits on the burner for hours is bad pregnancy or not. Same goes for the eewey gooey espresso/late drinks.  A fresh cup (1) of coffee made from organic beans ground at the time of use and brewed with a filter is not bad for you and probably has some benefits such as regulating blood sugar. That said, if you are not normally a coffee drinker, no need to start now. But if you are a coffee drinker, one cup of the good stuff is okay.

Diet Soda isn’t as bad as regular soda. No, it is not as bad, it is worse.

“My sister (mom, mother in law, best friend,) was asking me if you are going to check to see if I am dilated since I am 36 (37,37, 39, 40) weeks pregnant so that we know how close I am” NO! I am not going to check you! Okay, I lied just then. If you ask real nice I might. But I am not sure why you want me to unless for some reason having my hand up there will give you some comfort. It doesn’t do anything for me and it gives us absolutely nothing to go on. Maybe you just want/need to get in touch with your cervix. That is totally cool and I COMPLETELY understand. So you do it. Really. It is right there. Just get into the most comfortable position that you can, insert a finger into your vagina, reach ALL the way up there and feel around. Explore. Be gentle. Or not, its up to you. What I am saying is this; Go ahead and get in touch with your bits. See what you can find. See how it feels. Then YOU give ME the report. How CLOSE are you? You can go from being completely closed to a baby in your arms in 8 hours or less. You can walk around at 3cm for weeks and weeks. There is more at play here. After 34 weeks, If you are not having contractions, dilatation really doesn’t matter. But if you reeeealy want me to…

Agave is a good sugar alternative. No, it is not. It is an overly processed form of fructose. It isn't much different than High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Quick oats and instant oats, Even the supposed health food versions do not have the same benefits as steel cut oats.

Vita water is a healthy juice alternative. No it is not, it is a junk-food. Just water down your favorite whole juice and add a packet of emergenC. There, that’s better.

Seaweed works just as good as suturing does. No it does not. It is stinky, messy, does not address the inner structures and is a waste of time. If one could even consider seaweed as a solution, sutures are probably not needed at all. The same goes for dermabond or superglue.

Tums is okay because it has extra calcium for pregnancy. We are more likely to be low in magnesium than calcium. In any event, the calcium in tums is not very absorbable.

Hospitals are the safest place to birth. No, they are not, I wish they were.

Birth centers are the safest place to birth. No, they are not, I wish they were.

Home births are the safest place birth. No, they are not, I wish they were.

I say that “I wish they were” because it would be so wonderful to have an absolutely correct answer to the question. If it were absolute, I wouldn’t care what the answer was, that is exactly what I would support.

Occam’s razor encourages us to search for simplicity.  “The simplest answer is usually the correct answer”

But the simple answer is not always the easy answer. Simplicity and ease are not one-and-the-same.

Hickam highlights that point by saying "patients can have as many diseases as they damn well please."

Are your choices simple or are they complicated?

Maybe they are simply complicated.

The safest place for you to have your baby is where you feel the most secure and where you are surrounded by those who respect you and who will honor your choices. Whether hospital, birth center or at home you are the one who is ultimately in charge of insuring that your birth space is safe by maintaining a healthy pregnancy and by choosing your birth team and your birth place with care and consideration.

~Shell~

You are made of perfect stuff

Yes, there are a million things for you to do.

A dozen lists to make

So much to learn

So many big decisions to be made

So many ways to improve

So much more that you could do

So many things could be changed

So many

But it is okay if you sit for a minute or two

Drop your shoulders

Take a breath

Let the tension ease

Move into your heart-space

And feel it

You are made of perfect stuff

 

Heartburn

It can be triggered by many different things during pregnancy:

• Slow digestion due to hormones of pregnancy
• Newly developed food sensitivities
• Upward pressure on the stomach
• Developing thyroid issues triggered by pregnancy*
• Too little stomach acid (actually very common)*
• Too much stomach acid*
• Over growth of H Pylori (may be related to LOW stomach acid)*
• Gallbladder issues triggered by pregnancy*
• The great unknown

Following the suggestions for diet and fitness is the best way to avoid most cases of heartburn. If you are eating plenty of fresh food, avoiding processed foods, are engaged in physical activities and you still have issues with heartburn you may want to review the list above and consider the following…

Suggestions

• Start the day by drinking a glass of room temperature water with squeeze of fresh lemon or lime
• Taking gentle digestive enzymes such as papaya enzyme supplements with meals
• Drinking 2 tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar a day, diluted in water
• Eating small meals and chewing well
• Not drinking during meals
• Assessing acid level, sometimes the issue may be that the acid is too low rather than too high. If the acid level is too low an HCl (Hydrochloric acid) supplement can help

• This point can be used to alleviate heart burn. Apply pressure for 30 seconds, rest and repeat up to 4 times. It is located between the 8th rib and the 9th cartilage. For most people this will be about 5 finger breadths from the sternum. It sits along the inner edge of rib cage and rests within a notch that is about the size of an index finger. It is not as far down on the rib cage as you would think by looking at the picture which does not display the ribs that are not attached to the cartilage. Feel for the hot spot and you will know that you are there.
• There is also an acupuncture point on the wrist that you can stimulate for relief. I will post a video of it below.

*If you are suffering with heartburn speak to your care provider, they should be able to help you figure out the source of your discomfort should you need help doing so. A stomach PH test can be very helpful and may provide insights for overall health.

Here is a video describing how you can test your level of stomach acid without an expensive lab test.

Another suggestion for self-testing stomach acid levels is to drink 1 tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar. If your symptoms are alleviated then you may have low stomach acid, If they are aggravated then you do not.  I don’t suggest doing this during pregnancy though, as we tend to be a little sensitive to strong tastes during this time : )

Here is an acupuncturist speaking about ACV for heartburn:

Here is a demonstration of the wrist point

Now for a sprinkling of granola…

Many ceremonial and initiation customs from around the world work in part by drastically changing the chemicals and hormones within the body of the initiate. Pregnancy does this naturally. Also very naturally, many women will be compelled to address their life, their emotions, their family dynamics and their relationship with these forces.

Hormonal changes, life changes, the expectation of a new being in our lives all work to offer a great opportunity for transformation and healing.

Points to ponder:

• What is it that you “can’t swallow”?
• What is putting a “lump in your throat”?
• What is it that you "can’t stomach”?
• What is it that you need help to or time “to digest”?

Pregnancy is the perfect time to address and heal those things.

And remember to eat with love and thankfulness in your heart. If you have a full belly, you are a very lucky soul.

What started as a question about “weight gain in pregnancy”

Goal: To gain exactly as much weight as your body needs to have a healthy pregnancy.


CAUTION: Some care-providers may risk moms out of their practice or may highly stress weight gain and weight management during pregnancy. Women have the right to understand their care-provider’s management and philosophy of weight and weight gain before it becomes an issue for them. In our practice we do not “risk moms out”  for weight gain alone. Nor do we use pre-pregnant weight or weight gain as a singular measuring stick for health. Instead, we choose to focus on over-all health.


Minimalist Guide for Over-All Health
* Eat real food
* Take your supplements unless you think that your diet is truly sufficient
* Walk at least 1 mile 4 times a week
* Meditate, pray or otherwise enjoy 15 minutes of quiet time every day
* Take a salt bath once or more every week
* Enjoy loving/fulfilling sex 2-5 times a week
* Participate in social and/or volunteering opportunities at least once a week
~The End~
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More…


If you are following a healthy guideline for nutrition, are in good health, and avoid dead/junk food, you will gain the exact amount of weight as you need. How you feel, is much more important than numbers on the scale. Do you feel healthy? Do you look healthy? Do you have energy? Are your health checks in normal range? Is your baby growing at an appropriate rate? If so, your weight, high or low, is probably not an issue.


There are many misconceptions about weight gain in pregnancy. Some moms may think that if they restrict their weight gain that they the will grow a small baby, and thereby have an easier labor. Restricting food and calories in pregnancy can result in serious medical conditions that may result in preterm labor, low-birth-weight babies, weak babies and a host of other problems.  None of these conditions make for an easy birth.


Regardless, size of baby is NOT an indicator for the ease of delivery. Ease of delivery can sometimes be had with an 10 pound baby easier than it  can with a 6 pound baby. Ease of labor is all about baby’s position and your general health. So, if you have any thought of making a small baby for easy delivery, forget it! Instead, focus in fitness, education and nutrition. If you are that concerned about your baby’s size and the birth process, please talk to your midwife about it.


Moms who restrict their food intake because they have body issues are putting their babies at the exact same risks as those who want a small baby. If you are concerned about weight gain for yourself, do not restrict your food intake below normal levels! Instead- Walk at least 1 mile every day, remove all junk food from your diet, gain your nutrition from healthy living food and stay well hydrated.


On the other hand, some have the misconception that pregnancy is a time to eat for two. I love these ladies! You don’t really need to eat for two, but if in your normal life you have felt restricted in your diet and are now looking forward to having a really good reason to put on some extra weight, keep in mind that taking it off when the baby comes is not as easy as media-moms make it look. Especially without the extra help of personal dieticians, personal trainers, personal chefs, nannies, and of course plastic surgery.


I’m not saying that it can’t be done, it can. I am just here to tell you that it is not as easy for everyone as the little voice may make it seem to be. You can eat lots of food in pregnancy and not put on too much extra weight (some women can actually end their pregnancy with a weight loss and a healthy baby by eating more) … if you eat the right foods.


If you are excited about the opportunity to eat more than normal, that’s great! But if you are a person who struggles with food cravings and spurts of binging- keep in mind that many of these eating patterns can be a result of nutritional deficiency. Sometimes, by simply adding more calories from the right kinds of food, you can eliminate cravings and binge desires.


If you already have a good diet but simply consume more calories than you burn, focusing on gentle fitness may support your healthy pregnancy goals. Walking, swimming and sex are easy to integrate and are very beneficial during pregnancy.


Please, speak to me if you have any concerns about weight gain, diet, baby size, or if you have body issues. There are some simple keys that can support you through this process and I am here to help!
The charts below are just guidelines and should be adjusted to meet each woman and baby’s individual circumstance.


Suggested weight gain during pregnancy (Body Mass Calculator)

If prior to pregnancy your BMI was:	It is suggested that you gain:
BMI less than 18.5	30 – 40 pounds
BMI 18.5 – 24.9	25 – 35 pounds
BMI 25-29	15-25    pounds
BMI over 30	11-20    pounds
Twins add	10 – 20 pounds to the above

Distribution of weight gain

Blood	4           pounds
Breasts	2           pounds
Womb	2           pounds
Baby	+/- 7.5   pounds
Placenta	1.5        pounds
Amniotic fluid	1 – 2      pounds
Maternal stores, protein & nutrients	7 +         pounds
Retained fluid	4            pounds

When weight may need to be clinically assessed

Low weight gain	Under 10-12 pounds by 30 weeks (BMI under 25)
High weight gain	8 pounds or more in 2 weeks (all moms)
Low or High	When it does not match mom’s reported diet and lifestyle

Common non-calorie reasons for higher than expected weight gain in pregnancy
*Low Thyroid, which often first presents in pregnancy
*High Stress
*Low metabolism/Sedentary lifestyle
*Multiple pregnancy (twins+)
*Metabolic disorders of pregnancy (pre-eclampsia, toxemia, pregnancy diabetes)


By focusing on general health rather than on weight gain specifically, many of the above circumstances can be avoided, controlled and minimized; or in the case of twins+ supported. Therefore, instead of focusing on the numbers on the scale we suggest following some basics for over-health.


BASIC Over-All Health considerations:


Diet
“Mom!  Why are you taking so long to write about food? Just tell them GREENS GREENS GREENS!  Eat your greens!  There, that only takes like a minute”         ~Lilii, my 8 year old~


Whatever diet-type that you follow, just focus on eating real food. And like Lilii suggests- eat your greens.


Calories- Before the 16th week of pregnancy you do not need extra calories unless you athletic or otherwise highly active. After the 16th week of pregnancy, you only need an additional 300 calories per day.  You may need more if you began pregnancy with a BMI under 25 or if you have a very active lifestyle.


Nutrition- Hopefully you were already paying attention to your nutritional needs prior to pregnancy.  If not, now is a good time to start. It may not be possible for most of us to receive all of the nutrition that we need from food sources so supplements can help fill the gap. However, supplements are not best used as food replacement and in fact they will be more bio-available to us if we are eating live and healthy food. 


Power foods

Apples Avocado Bananas (ripe) Blueberries Blue Corn (meal for cereal or mash) Broccoli Cherries Chocolate (dark and organic) Cottage Cheese Coconut water Eggs Garlic Greek Yogurt Greens of all kinds Green Drink Green Tea Grapes (organic)

Grapefruit Gomasio Lentils Mango Steel Cut Oats (Mama’s Oatmeal) Papaya Pecans Peppers Pineapple (fresh) Pregnancy Tea Quinoa Rye Crackers Sprouted Spelt Bread Sesame Seeds (toasted) Sunflower Seeds (toasted or as butter- Tahinni) Squash

Poison Foods

High Fructose Corn Syrup White Flour Soda Preservatives Imitation Food Aspartame and artificial Sweeteners Diet foods and drinks

Fried Foods Transfats Hydrogenated Oil Fast Food Sugar Drinks, Sports drinks, Instant Meals/boxed foods Juice from concentrate

Always choose real food over fake food.
Butter instead of margarine
Real maple syrup over pancake syrup
Real cream over non-dairy
Real sweeteners over artificial sweeteners
Real cheese over cheese spreads
Real juice over punch and sports drinks


Eating Close to the Vine
This is a little exercise that I created for use by those who are just beginning to develop food consciousness.
How close to the earth is the food that we eat? The closer to the earth that our food is the more nutritious it is. Therefore it seems that we would want and need to know as much as we can about our food and where it came from.


When eating or drinking something, ask yourself…”How close to the vine” is this?
The closer to the vine a food or drink is, the healthier it is for you.
Try counting the number of steps that are between the vine and the food that you eat.
Food eaten directly from a garden, tree or wild harvest is only 1 step from the vine.


Fresh Orange (One step from the vine)
1. Pick an orange
Eat Orange


Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice (Two steps from the vine)
1. Pick oranges
2. Juice oranges
Drink Juice


Reconstituted Orange juice (Six steps from the vine)
1. Pick orange
2. Juice orange
3. Pasteurized juice
4. Concentrate juice
5. Reconstitute juice
6. Bottle
Drink


Orangina
I cant even deal with counting the steps between consumption and the vine of a product like Orangina or other “orange drink”.


This same exercise can be applied to grains, meat and meat products. Try comparing fresh caught trout to a hot dog and see how the numbers fair.


As important as what you eat is HOW you eat.
Eat ‘real’ food, eat close to the vine, and eat with good intention.


Eating with intention helps you to digest your food. Digesting your food is the most important part of the whole eating process. That’s why what you eat is important. Can it be digested? What happens in the digestive process?


*Eating your food with intention and thankfulness helps you to enjoy your food.


*Enjoying your food and eating with intention helps your body to digest your food.


*When you digest your food, you are able to absorb the nutrients from the food, and that is the whole point of eating.


*When you prepare your food think good thoughts about where your food came from and who it will be feeding.


*When you eat, be thankful for your meal.


*Make some of your meals a celebration, regardless of what is on the menu! Set out candles, drink milk, water or juice out of wine glasses, play some pleasing music.


*At least once a week have a meal in the ‘out of doors’. Sit on a blanket and enjoy your surroundings.
Savor each bite of your food.


Supplements
This supplement guide is based on the needs of a healthy mom who is exercising and who has a healthy diet. Certain conditions and circumstances will change supplement needs. (Brands are only suggestions but ones that I have found to be readily available)


Prenatal Vitamin: New Chapter: Perfect Prenatal
Fish Oil: New Chapter: Wholemega Prenatal
Zinc: New Chapter: Zinc Food Complex
Cod Liver Oil that does NOT contain added D3
Magnesium: Natural Calm: Powdered Magnesium
B Complex: Natural Force: Balanced B Complex (1 per day) or other 100% balanced B complex (it is important that the B’s are in equal proportions)
Spirulina: Take as directed every other day or so (or powdered greens)
Now Foods: Eggwhite protein (with green drink- every day or so)
* Needs may vary according to diet, health factors and brand (for example, New Chapters Prefect Prenatal contains pro-biotics so extra supplementation may be desired if using a different brand)



Hydration
Dehydration is a major cause of preterm labor, infection, low energy, mood swings and general ill-health and is of major concern here in Arizona.
Basic Suggestions:
· Half your weight in ounces of water
· 4 cups of trimester appropriate pregnancy tea
· 4 cups of hydration drink (or 8 ounces of coconut water)


Fitness
If you are already active you can safely remain active. Follow your body and do not over exert yourself. Pregnancy is a time for maintenance levels, not setting new records.
Avoid extreme sports and/or those sports where falling and collision are likely to occur. 
If you have not previously been active and would like to now begin a fitness routine, start slow and easy. A goal of walking 1 mile at least 4 times a week is a good place to start.


Stress
Stress can slow our metabolism and contribute to weight gain. Walking, sex, meditation, hydrotherapy and positive social interaction with other women can lower stress levels.


Sex: For some, it can feel complicated and stress inducing rather than stress-reducing. Just know that loving sex is good for you and good for pregnancy. If there is anything that you can do to make it more comfortable and pleasurable it is probably worth pursuing. 


Hydrotherapy: Otherwise known as bathing. Bathing in salt water is hydrating, rejuvenating and stress reducing. Taking at least one bath a week can support over-all health
2 cups of epsom salt, 2 cups of sea salt, 1/4 cup baking soda (to neutralize the water)


Meditation: Including prayer and/or silent time. Pregnancy can open our heart and minds. Sometimes the process of opening can feel challenging and perhaps even reveal insecurities. Taking time to pray, meditate or sit in silence can not only soften the process but expand our awareness and life satisfaction. Here is a fantastic meditation that you can try. It takes some time to get through, but once you have the basis of the meditation you can do it on your own without the audio.


4 day fix it plan
Changing the diet can be one of the hardest things to change but once the poison foods are removed from the diet, healthy whole foods not only taste better but also feel better. Just give the 4 day plan a try.
· Remove the poison foods from your home and avoid eating out
· Stock up on the power foods that you already know and love
· Eat as much of the power foods as you want or need to stave off cravings for junk food.
· Take your supplements
· Follow the hydration suggestions
· After day 3 begin introducing new whole foods. If they didn’t before, they should now taste yummy and fulfilling.


Recipes

Mammas Oatmeal This recipe was created by me to address the special needs of pregnancy. It is high in iron, protein and calcium. It addresses such issues at gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and weight gain. It is also pretty yummy! Adjust ingredients and cooking time to achieve your preferred texture and taste.
1/4 - 1/3 cup steel cut oats. Bring to boil in 1 1/2 cups of whole milk or your favorite fortified milk substitute if your diet is dairy free. Cook till soft. Add: Dash of  sea salt (Celtic brand if you have) Real vanilla if desired 1/2 Tablespoon of black strap molasses 1-2 pats butter (preferably) or substitute coconut oil Tablespoon of raisons or cherries 1/2 oz. (about 10 halves) pecans Dash of cinnamon (easy does it) 1 Tablespoon of Tahinni Dash of Stevia (powder) After cooking: Top with milk or fortified milk substitute Honey or maple syrup to sweeten, if you need.
Suggestion is  3-5 servings of Mammas Oatmeal every week. It is important that all the ingredients be used but the ingredients can be altered in amounts to suit mom’s particular tastes. More or less milk, cinnamon, sweetener, berries, nuts, etc.. To save time in the kitchen, you may cook several servings in advanced and warm your servings as you need them.

Hydration Drink I (simple)
3 cups whole juice (not from concentrate)
1 cup water
Pinch of sea salt


Hydration Drink II
· 3/4 quart (3 cups) water
· 1 cup Wild Berry Zinger tea (celestial seasonings, or other flavor)
· Juice of ½ lemon (or juice of orange, white grape, apple)
· 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
· 1/2 teaspoon table sea or Celtic salt
· Honey, maple syrup or raw sugar to taste
Steep tea and add honey while hot, combine ingredients. Try other flavors if you would like.


Gomasio
Replace salt with gomasio, it is high in minerals and protein
· 1/4 cup raw, unhulled sesame seeds. Place sesame seeds (any color - black, brown, red, yellow, tan, ivory, etc.) in a clean, dry, frying pan and toast on low heat, stirring often, until golden or until they start to pop - try to pull them off the heat before popping takes place.
· 1 table spoon Celtic or Sea Salt. Allow the seeds to cool for about 10 minutes, then place in a grinder with the salt and pulse a few times until most of the seeds are cracked open. Be careful not to grind to a flour consistency; you want some of the texture of the seed to remain.


Green Drink
1 Handful baby spinach greens
1 Tablespoon powdered greens
¼ Cup eggwhite protein powder (Now Foods)
½ Banana (fresh or frozen)
½ Cup other fresh fruit (pineapple, blueberries, mango, etc)
½ Cup Milk, coconut water or fruit juice to desired consistency
Ice cubes as needed
Blend in blender or processor


Sneaking in the greens
*Add chopped spinach to scrambled eggs (feta makes this taste great)
*Add chopped greens to soups and stews
*Add fine chopped greens to pasta dishes
*Make homemade pesto
*Add chopped cilantro to your salsa
*Replace iceberg lettuce on sandwiches with spinach or wild greens
*Use Kale, cabbage or leaf lettuce instead of tortillas for sandwich wraps
*Add chopped greens to stir-fry
*Add powdered greens to your juice


Recap: Minimalist Guide for Over-All Health
* Eat real food
* Take your supplements unless you believe that your diet is truly sufficient
* Walk 1 mile 4 times a week
* Meditate, pray or otherwise enjoy 15 minutes of quiet time every day
* Take a salt bath once or more every week
* Enjoy loving/fulfilling sex 2-5 times a week
* Participate in social and/or volunteering opportunities at least once a week

Birth Challenge

I like writing about my less than perfect moments. I think that they are more interesting than the ones where I get everything right. I like ones where I have questions and learn something, the ones that challenge me. Moments of dread and despair or shame, I find these to be interesting. I enjoy learning how others work through them and come out of the other side and how I manage as well.  

I have lots of "Not My Finest Moment" stories. Lots. And for lots of reasons. Primarily because I am human and flawed and I because I also have a tendency to passionately move forward on just about anything that interests me or that I think is a good idea. But mostly because I am human. 

Project Failure

I have learned to manage the shame and humiliation that comes with project failure. Coping skills, I got em. I primarily view my project failures as an inability to manifest a vision. Manifesting vision is a hard task so I give myself some slack on those. I also realize that I am not very flexible in my ability to compromise my visions. That is okay by me. Sometimes it makes me sad for the vision (Oh, they are lovely) but there is always the chance that they will find another way to manifest, my visions never die and sometimes my visions seem to inspire the manifestation of someone else's vision and that is super cool all on it's own. 

It is not easy to make a good match in the world. Visions need lots of support from those who can maneuver through the 3-D landscape of the world. This may require negotiation and team building. Sometimes it is okay to negotiate and sometimes it is not. It depends on the vision and the goal doesn't it? 

Having a goal to make money, for example, leaves a lot of room to design and negotiate all sorts of things. Having a specific vision with the goal of manifesting that vision leaves less room to negotiate. Trading out bits and parts of the vision in order to manifest at least part of the vision, or to save an amount of face is a personal matter for the dreamer to sort out. Sometimes people make the choice to sell out bits of the vision and they thank their lucky stars because they find success. Sometimes people do it and they regret it forever and ever. 

Project/vision failures and errors are simply a part of the landscape of getting things done. I have few regrets over those types of the failures. Other times I make human errors. I make mistakes. Worldly, human mistakes. I don't give myself much slack for those. Sometimes I beat myself within an inch of my life when I make mistakes and I really do try to learn from them. 

Human Error

It was about 3:30 in the morning when I pulled up to her house. She had called me about 45 minutes before to let me know that her surges were coming regular and strong. 

I stepped out of my car and looked up at the sky. I took a big breath and said my little prayer. I noticed the stars and the moon. I took note of the smell in the air and the feeling of the night. I sent an etheric hug to the baby and I let my body fill with love for this family. 

I popped the trunk and walked to the back of my car and lifted the trunk door.

My heart sank. It was empty.

Empty. I knew better but I looked in the backseat anyways.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

I had been out with my family the night before so had put my birth bags in the familymobile in case I was called to this birth. Apparently, I forgot about that little fact in the wee hours of the night.

I called Mani. She wasn't supposed to be backing me on this birth, but whatever- she owed me a few favors. (thanks Mani: ) The soonest I could expect her to arrive would be about 1 1/2 - 2 hours.

Well, there was nothing to do about it than what had already been done. I gave myself a little pep talk. Reminded myself that the greatest tools of the midwife are in her heart and hands. Reminded myself of one of my favorite sayings from wilderness healing; the cure is within 3ft of you. Reviewed her pregnancy care and her health and reminded myself that the whole point of thorough prenatal care was to assure that there are no impediments to expecting and having a perfectly delicious birth.

I was kind of excited really, the thought of attending this birth with nothing but my heart, hands and soul just seemed perfect to me. The only thing nagging in the back of my head was that this mom did not hire me to be a praying midwife, a midwife without equipment. But the truth is that I am equipped and that there are few if any irreplaceable items in my birth bag. 

Fetal Monitoring without my bag:

My ear to the belly

Baby's response to stimulation

Pulse on the soft-spot and sometimes the suture lines

Pink scalp while baby is descending

Hemorrhage management without my bag:

If you know what is causing the hemorrhage- fix it. Go from top to bottom.

Request that mom to stop bleeding.

Make sure that she is warm and comfortable and has the baby at her breast skin-to-skin and without a hat.

Boggy uterus and have the placenta? Feed her some placenta and gently stimulate the nipple that that the baby is not on.

Caused from retained placenta or membranes? Get them out.

Caused from clots? Remove the clots.

Cause from a full bladder? Have mom pee.

Caused from a laceration in the cervix? Bring it forward and pinch.

Caused from a broken vessel in the vagina? Find it, isolate it, apply pressure.

Bimanual compression.

Energetic communication.

Verbally communicate with the mom. Have her express herself. Sometimes bleeding is associated with mom needing to enforce her will.

But most of all, I understand that hemorrhage control is something that is manage way before the actual event. Assuring that mom has a healthy blood system and a healthy pregnancy. Avoiding those things that cause hemorrhage in the first place; Induction, forced or guide pushing, restriction of movement, withholding of food and drink, assisting delivery of the baby unless it is CLEARLY warranted, cutting and clamping the umbilical cord before it's work is done.

I could keep going with my list of how I would replace all of the items in my bag but it would take a very long time and that is not really what the story is about.

I let myself into the home and made my way upstairs.

She was in bed, curled up, listening to a hypnosis c.d.

The vibe was gentle and pleasant. 

I sat on the floor next to the bed and took a few moments to synch my breathing with hers.

I observed her breathing efforts, they were normal between the surges and slow and deep during the surges.

I observed her tone, she was nice and relaxed; no tension in her shoulders, legs or arms and just a little line between her brows during the surges.

After a few minutes of this she asked for pressure on her back.

I gently got onto the bed with her and applied pressure over her sacrum. I also took this opportunity to do some more low tech assessments. Her skin was dry and cool. Her veins were not popping or visibly beating. As I held her hand I felt for her pulse. The pressure was getting pretty strong on her back and she was getting a little restless and asked me to help her to roll over. After doing so, I asked her if I could listen to baby's heart and she said yes. I placed my ear on her lower belly and was able to perfectly hear the baby's heart. I was also able to see some baby movements during the surge. Everything seemed perfect. 

Rolling over did not provide the relief she was looking for, so she had me continue to apply pressure to her sacrum. After a few surges she asked for something to drink. 

I left her bed and went to fetch her a drink and since her surge pattern had changed, I also used this time to grab a few items from the birth kit that had been delivered to her a few weeks back: gauze and baby blankets. I couldn't think of what more I would need. There were a few other items in the her birth kit but I was in minimalist mode and even looking at the box of disposable items such as bulb syringe, cord clamps, gloves, DeLee suction, etc... seemed violating. 

As I was returning she said that she thought that her waters had opened. So I made a quick change regarding my thoughts about the items in the box. I turned around and went back to the birth kit box in the bathroom. Instead of selecting the gloves I selected the hand scrub and brush.  I inspected my hands and fingers for cuts or abrasions then scrubbed up to my forearms and used the little nail pick to clean my cuticles and nail beds. 

I moved back to her bed and the fact that her waters had opened was unquestionable. I took a big whiff and they smelled clean and I visualized they were also clear of anything concerning. 

I like to listen to heart tones after the waters have opened, so I asked her if I could check on baby. As I suspected, I couldn't hear that baby with my ear so I asked if I could check via vaginal exam. This is why I didnt put on the gloves. My fingers work better ungloved in some situations. I was hoping to feel for a pulse along the sutures of the baby's skull or on the fontanelle if I could reach it, but no, she wasn't into it. That's cool. She wanted to get up to get up and move around.

I helped her to get up and she walked around for a bit. She wasn't dizzy or light headed, there was no reason to be concerned for her, she said that she felt good. She was in a wonderful space but I could tell that things were moving a little faster than she had expected. She paced her bathroom for a few minutes and then asked if she could try the birth stool. I didn't think it was the time to go into the spiel about how she didnt need my permission for anything, or about how it was her birth or how it was not in my power to grant her permission for anything. Too much information. Instead, I just brought her birth stool over for her.  She sat on it and she hated it. That last about, oh... 2 minutes? 

She wasn't comfortable. She wanted to sit but she didn't want to sit. She wanted to stand but she didn't want to stand. 

She then exclaimed that she had to push. I loved that she didnt ask me if she could. Often times, most times, moms will just move to an instinctual position when they need to push- especially if they are not being bossed around. But sometimes they need some gentle support to maneuver through the situation. I waited to offer options because I wanted to give her body the chance to figure it out but she seemed stuck between a rock and a hard place. Her eyes started to dart around the room, looking mostly at the floor and at the stool, back and forth, all around.  I think it was because her instincts told her to squat but she hated the feeling of being on the stool and she didnt want to go anywhere near that position again but she didnt want to stand. I couldn't stand the look of frustration on her face, I wanted to help her so I butted in "how about squatting on the floor against the wall for support?" I thought she might like traditional squatting better than the stool since there would be less pressure and it would crate a different positioning of the pelvis.  She liked the sound of that and she lowered herself to the floor.

Fantastic. She followed her body and was bringing the baby down nice and steady. I asked her if I could feel the baby and she said yes. There it was, a lovely pulse and a lovely little bit of pink scalp. Lovely.

At this point I was thinking to myself "How fantastic it would be if the baby was born before Mani got here". But mom needed more time for pushing so I  sat with her. Quiet. Doing my Shell thing. Soft accompanying sounds when the energy was high, observing her body language, responding silently to her needs, watching to see if she needed anything from me. She didnt, just a sip of her water now and then.  

Mani showed up about 20 minutes later and we were still in about the same position and situation as we were when we had first slid to the floor. I am sure that there was progress going on- just not a lot. Not that there is anything wrong with that, there isn't, it just didn't match up to my expectations based on her labor to this point but certainly wasnt anything to get knotted up over. So I sat and we waited. It was a sweet space.

I resisted using the doppler but did have Mani get a set of vitals for us. After a few surges mom asked if she could get into the tub. I didn't say "yes" or "no", I just filled up the tub for her. And then yes, we listened for heart tones.

It was a garden style tub with the spout to the side. It was a little large for this petit mom to comfortably lie in so I suggested that she sit with her back to the side of the tub with her feet pressed agains the other side, short ways instead of long ways. We were sitting outside of the tub and in front of her.

The sun was starting to stream in through the windows. Her energy seemed revived and renewed. Her husband was at my right and Mani was at my left. 

We sat there worshiping her. 

She was beautiful with her brown hair glistening with sun drops. 

Her perfect complexion was flushing with pink on her cheeks and red on her lips and rose on her breasts. 

Her nipples were darkening before my eyes. The shadow of the mother, visiting the flesh.

Her muscles were starting to define themselves and rise up from her bones. 

Her eyes showed clarity and resolve. 

She had no questions. 

She had no fear. 

She was only full of 

baby and 

power and 

grace and 

force and 

love and 

truth and 

The millions of elements necessary to manifest 

vision and 

matter and 

soul and 

body 

into being.

She was whole

So we waited. Without interrupting. In awe.

The baby crowned the moment, extended and spiraled out between the mothers legs and swooshed into her fathers hands, she came up all pink and mewing. 

The power-shadow retreated and the mom returned, eyes wide with wonder and a huge smile of surprise. 

Sometimes when I do the least, I feel the most like a midwife. 

What I learned:

To keep my low-tech skills honed and up-to-date

To put something on the seat of my car to remind myself that I have moved my birth bags from their normal spot in the trunk of my car.